Cum Fetish

In summer 2008, I started talking to a woman named "N" who I later learned loved to suck cock and swallow cum. She revealed to me she was bisexual and eventually had me revealing to her that I was bi-curious. She knew I was an alpha male by day and had a public image of being a masculine, straight guy. This is what made it fun for her to provoke my hidden desires and break me down to behave in ways I normally did not. When she felt naughty...she'd toy with my closeted bisexuality. She was bold and suggestive and had a way of playfully humiliating my straightness. She once had me suck a dildo for her on webcam and had me performing like a mindless, hypnotized, queer cock lover.

We began to view gay porn together and she easily aroused me with her voice; skillful and deviant suggestions and had me revealing what about those men/scenes got me hot. The more she knew...the more control she had over me. I became so hooked. She loved putting me in fantasy situations where I would submit to another man for her entertainment. It was so hot to experience this, even if it was just in conversation.

Eventually, she exposed that I had tasted my own cum in the past. This sparked her to be very suggestive about me being more into my cum. Tasting, licking and swallowing it. It was difficult not to get aroused by her. She began to include cum into our discussions and had me loving cum as much as she did.

Eventually...she had planted a seed about me trying another man's cum. Little by little...she described scenes of me sucking cock with the understanding I had to bring him to orgasm. Convincing me to accept his cum on my face or in my mouth....and ultimately to swallow. The arousal I experienced from all of this continues to have me very much into my own cum and curious about the experience and mental mind fuck from tasting the cum of another man.

Shower Seduction

I have a fantasy of having a gay sexual experience in the shower. One where the warm water, steam, soapy bodies and sensual touching combine for intense arousal, pleasure and release. It would be with a man I've previously submitted to. A man who knows how to keep me addicted to his sexual dominance and cock.

Once under the warm water, he would have me soap his smooth, built physique. He would stare at me and watch me become mesmerized. Suggestive words would cause an uncontrolled arousal. There I would be in the shower naked and exposed to a man who has intentions of giving me a hot homosexual experience.

After soaping his upper body, I would go lower. Soaping his buttocks and manhole...lathering clean his full balls and stroking his hardening cock with my slippery hand. The water washes his body clean and then he tells me to stop touching him. He positions himself at the back of the shower and turns my body to face the water streaming from the shower head. He tells me to lather my body and not to turn around. As I lather up, I do not hear a word from him, not even when I wash my body off. I then begin to shampoo my hair. At the moment I place my head under the water to wash it off...I feel his hands on my waist and his hard, slippery cock rubbing on the crack of my bubble butt. It sends a rush of adrenaline through me. I'm vulnerable with my eyes closed and can not open them due to the water and soap washing off. He knows this and begins to stroke my cock from behind. I can't stop him, nor do I want to. His intent is to be sure I am filled with lust and become the hot submissive bottom his cock needs me to be.

He continues his sensual assault while the shampoo washes off. His cock is charged with arousal and teasingly pumps against me. He also repeatedly pumps his cock through my thighs and under my balls...fucking my thighs. With one hand stroking my cock...he uses the other to tilt my head back and says into my ear "You're ready to be fucked, aren't you? You'd like to feel my erect penis inside you...I can tell." With those words I am restless and unable to answer...just the way he wants me to be.

Within a few seconds I feel the head of his circumsised penis pressed on my hole. The feeling numbs my body. Instinctively...my body arches. My ass moves towards his cock...my head tilts back and my chest pushes forward. I feel the head pop inside and him begin to thrust slowly, in and out. "Good boy" he says..."My penis owns you, doesn't it? You can't deny the pleasure you feel from it." I respond with a moaning "no". Each thrust of his firm shaft hits my prostate and makes me beg for more. The feeling of his cock massaging my prostate and building my orgasm turns me into a slave. It's a total mind fuck. Soon, his fucking turns primal. Faster and harder as he begins to concentrate on his own orgasm. I know he will not stop until he cums and I have no choice in the matter. His rhythymic fucking has me at the edge of orgasm and he starts to stroke my cock just before I cum. The combination of his cock hitting my prostate and his stroking of my cock send me into a convulsive orgasm. Repeated muscle contractions until my balls are drained.

My body becomes weak, but I am held up in a standing position while my manhole is still being fucked. I didn't even notice that he captured some of my cum in his hands and to distract me...he wipes it on my face and into my mouth. As I begin to consume it, I feel him strongly wrap his arms around my waist and fuck extra deep and hard. Then he says "Here it comes boy...the seed that keeps you the queer bitch I want you to be." He lets out a large moan and begins a powerful orgasm. Streams of hot semen fill me while I hear the sounds of pleasure I provide.

XBOX360 Online Gaming

One thing I enjoy doing in my free time is playing XBOX360 video games online. I mostly play Modern Warefare 2 and other shooter games. I'm interested in finding Bi/Gay Top men who also play and are interested in erotic chat while doing so. Send an email if you'd like to know more. Discretion assured as I'm sure we both have people on our friends list that don't need to know.

Searching For Deviant Men

The Title of this post may initially lead you to believe "deviant" is bad or wrong. On the contrary...It's meant more to catch the attention of those that believe what they think about or want to do...is deviant when compared to the mainstream or commonly accepted practices.

I'm a very analytical, cerebral type that has many deviant sexual desires. I'm looking for others that are the same. Below is a list of things that I'm interested in as a submissive. If you share a similar interest, feel free to contact me...especially if you are a Dominant/Top bi or gay male.

Manipulation of sexual orientation; mind games; sexual coercion; mind fucking of a potential "recruit" through the use of fears, secret desires, guilt, insecurities, lack of confidence with women, etc; behavior modification; hypnosis; brainwashing; blackmail; video taping sexual submission; psychological control; cum facials; swallowing cum; bondage; threat of pain for conformance; nude wrestling; homosexual activity in front of women; etc. If you're into something that's not listed...it may mean I was not thinking about it when I wrote this post.

Random Sexual Desires 01

Sometimes I fantasize about laying on my back on a bed...my head hanging over the side...my arms spread wide with wrists bound. I then imagine a man sensually invading my face with his cock and balls...hearing his enabling, suggestive voice as he watches me weaken. Any effort to try and get away just results in lifting my head towards his cock. Eventually he is slowly pumping his rigid penis into my mouth and his balls are bouncing on my face. His goal is to develop a rhythym that will make me accept that I must please his cock. Skillful touching and naughty words get me aroused. Once I accept my role...his pace quickens. He pumps faster with the growing need to release. It seems he will never stop, but then....shortly before he reaches climax...he takes hold of my cock and starts to stroke it. He knows this will distract me from his goal. I begin to moan and buck because I like being stroked. His game continues until he knows I'm ready to cum and it's time for his surprise. As I begin to cum...I feel a stream of hot semen being released into my mouth. I try to take my mouth off his cock, but he positions himself perfectly to make sure he can release the entire load of cum in my mouth. My own orgasm has me distracted and weak. There is so much cum that I have to swallow. He continues to pump my mouth until every last drop of semen is shot into my mouth.

Anal Penetration and Anal Orgasm

During my sexual development, I explored with self induced anal stimulation and penetration while masturbating. I used my soapy fingers in the shower. I discovered the incredible pleasure of sensual touching on the outside and what it felt like to finger myself. Once I felt this type of pleasure, I could not ignore it. However, I never initially took my exploration further than just rubbing on the outside and finger fucking before jerking off. I did this for several years and took it no further with myself or anyone. Consequently, I had yet to discover the anal orgasm.

Eventually I wanted to try fucking myself with something bigger, longer and more real than my finger. I didn't think about what caused my desires...just that I was very curious about pleasure. Due to being very protective of my "different" desires and my public image, I determined the best play toy would be a hot dog. They could be easily purchased and no one would suspect anything. My reasoning was a hot dog is a phallic-like object and came in various lengths and thicknesses.

Although I explored several times with hot dogs for simulated "cock sucking", I recall the first few times I fucked my hole with it. I liked the feeling of it pressing on and teasing my hole. I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment when I stretched open for it. I liked feeling it slide in and out, even though it somewhat paralized me while it happened.

The "big" moment came one day when I did not expect it. I was naked and began fucking myself with a wet hot dog. I began going deeper than before and was set on going as long as I could. I was laying face down, pumping my hole with the hot dog; feeling irregular breathing and slight moaning. My cock was hard and my body position made me grind my cock on the bed. Once I was able to take it deep enough, I felt the hot dog hitting a spot that felt so good. My body was restless and tense, but experiencing new pleasure that I did not know, but loved feeling. All I had to do to keep feeling that good was to continue fuck myself.

Within 30 seconds I felt an orgasm coming and it took me completely by surprise. I kept fucking myself and knew I was going to cum. As my muscles began to contract...I felt my hole tighten around the hot dog. It was an unreal, new pleasure. Then my cock began to shoot cum and the muscle contractions were so intense. I kept pumping the hot dog in and out during the entire orgasm. Afterwards...I lay there exhausted, surprised and drained.

That initial experience led me to include anal stimulation most times when I masturbate. The anal orgasm is always so intense. Interestingly enough, it's still difficult to reveal to a woman that I want to be fucked by a strap-on. Yet, so many bi and gay men are eager to talk to me about it and love the idea of "turning me out".

Exploration of Sucking

In my 20's, I had reached a point where my desires for cock made me curious to experiment with sucking on something similar to a cock, but not the real thing because I was not at a point to try it for real. I desired something phallic in shape that I could get a better feeling of what it may really be like. Since I didn't have a way to buy sex toys, I came up with the idea of using hot dogs. They were easy to buy and no one would suspect anything. I bought ones that were close in thickness to a real cock and about 7 inches long.

I remember my first time...the excitement from opening the package and feeling the hot dog in my hands in a way I never did before. Seeing its length and shape. Knowing what I was going to do. I was naked and went into my bedroom and layed face down on the bed. I imagined a hot, hung man in my bed laying on his back with his cock tempting me. He stared at me like there was no escape. I stared back...not with fear...but with a look of conviction and that I was going to suck his cock for him. I placed the hot dog before my face as if it was his erect cock. I stared up at him and began licking the shaft. Then, I closed my eyes and began sucking it. Bobbing down and up in a rhythmic motion feeling it fill my mouth. The sensation aroused my cock and I began to grind it on the bedspread. I felt so hot doing this. It was safe, private and fun and I was in my own world of fantasy. Instantly it became a desire to deep throat the "cock". I practiced for a few minutes and quickly became acquainted with some gagging, but I was able to hold it in deep for a few seconds. I finished by laying on my back, sucking on the hot dog and stroking to orgasm.


After cumming, it gave me an experience that allowed me to feel I could safely repeat this activity in private and just explore myself. I also began exploring "deep throat" techniques because I did not like gagging and I liked the idea of trying a longer "cock".

Over time, I purchased longer hot dogs and up to 12 inch long sausages. I eventually was able to deep throat the 12 inch sausage and hold it in for about 5 seconds. Since it was flexible and not too thick, it was not that difficult. It's a very intense feeling and the challenge and accomplishment can motivate the mind like never before.