Behavior Modification & Manipulation of Sexuality

Note:  I started writing this post in 2014.  I never finished it and discovered it today after logging in to my blog dashboard after all this time.  It was written when the internet and apps were not as developed as they are now.  Keep that in mind.  Hope it was worth the wait.

I was intrigued to discover that there are both women and men that enjoy mind fucking a man with the intent to manipulate his sexuality and sexual interests.  They do this for various reasons...enjoyment...personal interest...experimentation...power, etc. They try to provoke or create sexual curiosities towards cock and gay sex.  I found this very intriguing and wanted to know more about how they think and what is their motivation.  I wanted to talk to people who are into this...to see if they would have an effect on me.  I wanted to know if I would be effected or not, due to the secret desires I have.  I wanted to discover if I could be lured by something/someone that others would never suspect I would be.

I searched in chat rooms and in personal ads for these "enablers".  Specifically...ones who are educated and skilled at it.  It's very rare to find them.  After speaking with some, I learned they are either bisexual or gay/lesbian and like to lure and intrigue using their intellect and suggestiveness.  Their sexual interests do not conform to the mainstream and they seek out people that can be seduced by the power of suggestion and/or being manipulated in creative ways.

These enablers plant sexual "seeds" in the mind that are meant to change a person's perspective of their own sexual interests and desires.  Seeds that make you become aware of and think more about sexual activity you may think as unappealing or taboo, etc. Make you: experience repetitive thoughts; trigger arousal; look at sexual images and modify sexual thoughts/desires.

I found myself seeking enablers that specifically were into forced bi/homosexuality. Enablers that targeted guys they knew had a current public image of being straight. I found dominant men into this...in gay chatrooms. I found dominant women into this...on a phone sex line and personals sites.

I was drawn to their conviction to open my mind...perhaps only to initiate discussion or debate. However, there were some who are so skilled that they had me confessing to feeling the mental challenges and confusion about my sexuality after a few discussions. I knew it was dangerous to play these games, even if it was fun to explore...but I was lured deeper into the desires, compulsions and felt a breakdown to resistance.

In any event,  I am highly responsive to these types of men and women and will continue to search for them.

Simulated Cum Swallowing

I bought a realistic squirting dildo that's very thick and about 8 inches long.  It has a suction cup base and when I play with it...it's usually hanging on the shower wall.  It's an intimidating cock that makes my cock stir as I prepare to suck on it.

This past weekend...I made fake cum to use in the dildo.  A mixture of milk, egg whites and sugar.  I put the cum mixture in a cup and took it in the shower to simulate a male orgasm...but enough cum to simulate the volume of 3 to 4 orgasms.

After loading the cum mixture into the plastic squirter...I began to worship the cock.  Sensually licking the head.  Wanting it in my mouth.  Pushing it deeper....bobbing on it....forgetting about things around me.    In a short amount of time....I had become an enthusiastic cock sucker.  My own cock hard.  Moaning like a bitch and thinking about the cum.  I pulled my mouth off the cock to look at its fat head....and squeezed the squirter to make a bit of cum drip out.  When I saw that small drop of cum....I lost it.  I immediately reacted and stared at it....felt it overwhelm me....and I licked it.  I then squirted some on my face....it was so erotic to feel it coat me and drip down.  I felt like a possessed slut.  I then started to suck it again....a faster pace with the intent to simulate actions just before a real cock would shoot....and then....I pushed the cock deep and I sqeezed the squirter in a pulse-like pattern....simulating a real cum shot.  Streams of the cum shot in my mouth.  The cock was deep in my mouth and I purposely kept I there, because I knew if it was a real cock...the man would have held his cock in my mouth.  I felt I had no option, but to swallow.  Just like men do to women, so it was fair to pay the price in return.

My cock was so hard and I was not touching it.  Then, while swallowing the cum....my own cock started to squirt cum.  What a total mind fuck.  It was so intense. 

I'm now more curious about what it would be like to experience something like this on a real cock. Seeing pre-cum and then the desire to try cum.  The power of cock and cum is potent, if you are not careful.

Cum Drinking

A few months ago I ran across a straight sex porn site devoted to an amature couple. The female is a lovely, large-breasted blond with an insatiable appetite for her husband's cock and cum. They film their sexual adventures and post them online. One thing I noticed is that they always capture the cumshot scene. I focus on how the wife loves to touch and please her husbands cock, including caressing his balls as she strokes him off. Eventually....streams of cums cover her smiling face. I wish more women understood how to touch a man's cock and balls in that manner. It's so intimate, gives a strong, healthy orgasm, builds trust and makes a man VERY willing to take care of his wife or girlfriend in non-sexual ways....long after the sexual encounter ended. Men out there...you know exactly what I mean.

After seeing scenes like that...my bisexual/gay side also was intrigued. Seeing how enthusiastic the wife was for his cock and how willing she was to be caught on camera with cum covering her face. I fantasize about a cock making me feel that naughty.

Another act that got me hot....was when she had her husband shoot into a shot glass after stroking and sucking him. Then....she drank the cum from the glass. On other websites, I'd also seen pictures of women holding a drink in a glass...with a cock in the glass...hinting a cum shot into the liquid was forthcoming. I eventually felt the urge to try things like that. Not just little tastes, but swallowing. Cumming in a glass and swallowing my own load of semen.

I eventually tried it a few times, but with a small amount of pineapple juice in the shot glass. Masturbating to various porn pictures....shooting my load in the glass...and then swallowing it all.  Yes, swallowing my entitre load of semen. It gave me a naughty feeling and fucks with my mind, after.  I'm trying to get to the point where there is no pineapple juice in the glass and I can swallow a pure, undiluted load of semen. This is what a man expects a woman to do when she sucks cock...so shouldn't I be prepared for when I suck cock again?

Cum Fetish

In summer 2008, I started talking to a woman named "N" who I later learned loved to suck cock and swallow cum. She revealed to me she was bisexual and eventually had me revealing to her that I was bi-curious. She knew I was an alpha male by day and had a public image of being a masculine, straight guy. This is what made it fun for her to provoke my hidden desires and break me down to behave in ways I normally did not. When she felt naughty...she'd toy with my closeted bisexuality. She was bold and suggestive and had a way of playfully humiliating my straightness. She once had me suck a dildo for her on webcam and had me performing like a mindless, hypnotized, queer cock lover.

We began to view gay porn together and she easily aroused me with her voice; skillful and deviant suggestions and had me revealing what about those men/scenes got me hot. The more she knew...the more control she had over me. I became so hooked. She loved putting me in fantasy situations where I would submit to another man for her entertainment. It was so hot to experience this, even if it was just in conversation.

Eventually, she exposed that I had tasted my own cum in the past. This sparked her to be very suggestive about me being more into my cum. Tasting, licking and swallowing it. It was difficult not to get aroused by her. She began to include cum into our discussions and had me loving cum as much as she did.

Eventually...she had planted a seed about me trying another man's cum. Little by little...she described scenes of me sucking cock with the understanding I had to bring him to orgasm. Convincing me to accept his cum on my face or in my mouth....and ultimately to swallow. The arousal I experienced from all of this continues to have me very much into my own cum and curious about the experience and mental mind fuck from tasting the cum of another man.

Shower Seduction

I have a fantasy of having a gay sexual experience in the shower. One where the warm water, steam, soapy bodies and sensual touching combine for intense arousal, pleasure and release. It would be with a man I've previously submitted to. A man who knows how to keep me addicted to his sexual dominance and cock.

Once under the warm water, he would have me soap his smooth, built physique. He would stare at me and watch me become mesmerized. Suggestive words would cause an uncontrolled arousal. There I would be in the shower naked and exposed to a man who has intentions of giving me a hot homosexual experience.

After soaping his upper body, I would go lower. Soaping his buttocks and manhole...lathering clean his full balls and stroking his hardening cock with my slippery hand. The water washes his body clean and then he tells me to stop touching him. He positions himself at the back of the shower and turns my body to face the water streaming from the shower head. He tells me to lather my body and not to turn around. As I lather up, I do not hear a word from him, not even when I wash my body off. I then begin to shampoo my hair. At the moment I place my head under the water to wash it off...I feel his hands on my waist and his hard, slippery cock rubbing on the crack of my bubble butt. It sends a rush of adrenaline through me. I'm vulnerable with my eyes closed and can not open them due to the water and soap washing off. He knows this and begins to stroke my cock from behind. I can't stop him, nor do I want to. His intent is to be sure I am filled with lust and become the hot submissive bottom his cock needs me to be.

He continues his sensual assault while the shampoo washes off. His cock is charged with arousal and teasingly pumps against me. He also repeatedly pumps his cock through my thighs and under my balls...fucking my thighs. With one hand stroking my cock...he uses the other to tilt my head back and says into my ear "You're ready to be fucked, aren't you? You'd like to feel my erect penis inside you...I can tell." With those words I am restless and unable to answer...just the way he wants me to be.

Within a few seconds I feel the head of his circumsised penis pressed on my hole. The feeling numbs my body. Instinctively...my body arches. My ass moves towards his cock...my head tilts back and my chest pushes forward. I feel the head pop inside and him begin to thrust slowly, in and out. "Good boy" he says..."My penis owns you, doesn't it? You can't deny the pleasure you feel from it." I respond with a moaning "no". Each thrust of his firm shaft hits my prostate and makes me beg for more. The feeling of his cock massaging my prostate and building my orgasm turns me into a slave. It's a total mind fuck. Soon, his fucking turns primal. Faster and harder as he begins to concentrate on his own orgasm. I know he will not stop until he cums and I have no choice in the matter. His rhythymic fucking has me at the edge of orgasm and he starts to stroke my cock just before I cum. The combination of his cock hitting my prostate and his stroking of my cock send me into a convulsive orgasm. Repeated muscle contractions until my balls are drained.

My body becomes weak, but I am held up in a standing position while my manhole is still being fucked. I didn't even notice that he captured some of my cum in his hands and to distract me...he wipes it on my face and into my mouth. As I begin to consume it, I feel him strongly wrap his arms around my waist and fuck extra deep and hard. Then he says "Here it comes boy...the seed that keeps you the queer bitch I want you to be." He lets out a large moan and begins a powerful orgasm. Streams of hot semen fill me while I hear the sounds of pleasure I provide.

XBOX360 Online Gaming

One thing I enjoy doing in my free time is playing XBOX360 video games online. I mostly play Modern Warefare 2 and other shooter games. I'm interested in finding Bi/Gay Top men who also play and are interested in erotic chat while doing so. Send an email if you'd like to know more. Discretion assured as I'm sure we both have people on our friends list that don't need to know.

Searching For Deviant Men

The Title of this post may initially lead you to believe "deviant" is bad or wrong. On the contrary...It's meant more to catch the attention of those that believe what they think about or want to do...is deviant when compared to the mainstream or commonly accepted practices.

I'm a very analytical, cerebral type that has many deviant sexual desires. I'm looking for others that are the same. Below is a list of things that I'm interested in as a submissive. If you share a similar interest, feel free to contact me...especially if you are a Dominant/Top bi or gay male.

Manipulation of sexual orientation; mind games; sexual coercion; mind fucking of a potential "recruit" through the use of fears, secret desires, guilt, insecurities, lack of confidence with women, etc; behavior modification; hypnosis; brainwashing; blackmail; video taping sexual submission; psychological control; cum facials; swallowing cum; bondage; threat of pain for conformance; nude wrestling; homosexual activity in front of women; etc. If you're into something that's not listed...it may mean I was not thinking about it when I wrote this post.